The Days After SPM

1 Day Trip 2 Sabak Bernam, Selangor

Birthday Stars

There Is Once A Dummy Called Ah Beng…

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his phone book: “My mobile number has changed. Previously it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610″

Ah Beng : I am very proud because my son Ah Boy is in International Medical University .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
Dr.: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Ah Lian: No! I”ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I”ll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng : People consider me as a “GOD”
Ah Lian: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Fisherman”s Wharf at Taman Desa last night, everybody said,”Oh GOD! You come again.”

Ah Beng complained to the police: “Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.”
Police: “It is strange, why the thief did not take TV?”
Ah Beng : “Oh, I was watching ManU vs Selangor last night, so… ”

Ah Beng comes back to his car & find a note saying “Parking Fine”
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole: “Thanks for complement.”

How do you recognize Ah Beng’s son Ah Boy in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
Ah Beng replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Ah Beng: Why are all these people running?
Ah Lian: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng: If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Boy : The future tense is “you will go to jail”.

Ah Beng told his maid: “Go and water the plants!”
Maid: “It”s already raining.”
Ah Beng: “So what? Take umbrella and go.”

A man asked Ah Beng why Najib goes walking in the evening and not in the morning.
Ah Beng replied: “Najib is PM not AM!”

Beng’s Fastest Speed Of Sex

One day, Ah Beng meets his good friend, Ah Ngau at Kopitiam. Ah Ngau read from a magazine saying that:

What animal has sex the fastest?

The hermit crab mates outside its shell. The male and female must leave their shells to do this, and in one species, they accomplish the activity in far less than one second. Video that is not enhanced to capture more rapid events cannot “catch them in the act” because they are so fast.

With full curiosity Ah Ngau asked : Eh Beng … what is the fastest speed for human sex ever recorded ar? Guiness book or rekod got say anot?

Ah Beng : Diu! That one no nid refer Guiness book of world rekod I also know the answer la!

Ah Ngau : Ah?? Sure boh? You abit gong gong lidt suddenly so cleber one meh?

Ah Beng : Farkiu la! I not gong kia ok? This is call pretend pig eat tiger u no?!!

Ah Ngau : Ok la ok la … then u tell me what is the fastest speed for human sex ever recorded la!

Ah Beng : Aiyo this one very easy la! Its 68km/h lor!

Ah Ngau : Har? Apasal 68km/h? Why not 100km/h? Or 200km/h?

Ah Beng : Niahma! Say u no sexperience u dun briff! Max speed for sex is 68km/h oni la! When u reach 69 then u kena “turn around” oledi!

Ah Ngau : Wuahahahahahaha!!!! Farkiu la!