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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Malaysia "Boleh"

天天说Boleh
>
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> 工作说Letih
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> 辛勤工作给国税
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> 没挂国旗就是罪
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> 强盗小偷一大堆
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> 警察政府都在睡
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> X里挑拨话题就OK
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> 明志raprap要定罪
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> 天天嘴里说要fair
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> 固打特权别想废
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> 政府部门是最yeah
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> 平时投诉没人care
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> 到了大选路repair
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> 部长简直是superman
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> 百万工程会漏水
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> 喜喜哈哈说OK
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> 黑锅出来大家推
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> 国产车不见的很hightech
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> 价钱给你供到很upset
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> 华小要建华社得捐钱
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> 国小要钱政府乐的给
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> 法律世界最dramatics
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> 杀人放火没有罪
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> 狱里大哥问我什么罪
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> 我说没带IC坐半年
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>
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> 政府医院最危险
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> 医生护士一大堆
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> 靠的住的没一些
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> 进了能出来得celebrate
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> 议员家庭最富贵
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> 家园建的象palace
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> 甘邦组屋居民最可悲
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> 天天都得担心要睡街
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> 大道公司是吸血鬼
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> 几公里路程都要给
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> smart tunnel好神奇
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> 又能通车又通水
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> 大雨KL还是得照淹
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> 吧士司机最敬业
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> 接了传票照样on the way
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> 还要吸毒来够high
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> 出了车祸森林hide
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> 议院就像幼稚园
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> 议员出嘴就成脏
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> 国家大事没论成
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> 笑话到是一大堆
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> 常常无语问苍天
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> 这个国家为何那么sad
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> 上天也无言以对
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> 怪只怪我的皮肤不够黑
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> 写到这里已要睡
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> 现实社会太惨悲
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> 唯有梦里寻乐园

Just 4 Laugh

讲个笑话给你听
有一户潘姓人家,长辈过世。。。
家祭时,请来了一位乡音很重的老先生来当司仪。
讣闻是这么写的:
孝    男:潘根科
孝    媳:池    氏
孝孙女:潘良慈
孝    孙:潘道时
 
但这位老先生老眼昏花又发音不标准。当他照着讣闻唱名时,凡是字面上有三点水的或左边的部首都漏掉没有看到。
于是就给他念成这样子:
[孝男,翻。。。跟。。。斗。。。]
孝男一听,直觉很奇怪,但是又不敢问,于是就翻了一个跟斗。
接着又说:[孝媳。。。也。。。。是。。。]
孝媳一听:[我也要翻啊?]
于是孝媳也翻了一个跟斗。
 
再来:[孝孙女,翻两次。]
孝孙女一听,想想爸妈都翻了,我也翻吧。于是就翻了两个跟斗。
 
此时孝孙心想:[爸妈、各翻一次,姐姐也翻两次,那么我要翻几次?]
心里想着想着就开始紧张起来:[怎么办?]
只见老先生扯开喉咙,大声地念出:[孝孙。。。翻。。。。到。。。。死。。。。。。]

How Does A Kiss Work !

This chain letter is real so follow the instructions and something good will happen!!

LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Sorry,
but this chain letter is for real.
When Anne Wichert got it for the first time,
she ignored it and a week later the love of her
life dumped her for no good reason so
BEWARE,
and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!

The Lovers of the Heart
In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.
Article 1:
Statement of Love:  The Kiss
 
1. Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3. Kiss on the neck
I want you

4. Kiss on the lips
I love you

5. Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6. Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8. Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3. Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.

Article 3:  The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.

3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.


* Remember *
A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
Without some tongue.
So open up your mouth
close your eyes,
and give your tongue
some exercise!!!




Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:


1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore' even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'

18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

24. The way you miss them

25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not.
Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.Only felt.


*
This chain started in 1887.
It is a love chain letter.
In an hour you are
supposed to send it to
25 people.
It is easy, just look into
chat rooms and find them.
Anyway,
send it to 25 people in 1 hour.
Now here
comes the fun part.
You then say
the name of the person
you like or love
and then the person will say
'I love you,'
or
'Will you go out with me?'

NO JOKE!!!!!





NOW
THE CONSEQUENCES


The consequences are:
If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships.
If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!!

CoNgRatULaTioNs!!

You have been chosen to participate in the
LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the Internet! Once you read, this letter you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) be sent to 25 people After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE

YOU MAY NOT WAIT
FOR A CERTAIN TIME
TO SEND IT........ REMEMBER,
IT MUST BE SENT
TO
25
PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR,
OR
YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME
TRUE!
If THIS
CHAIN LETTER
IS CONTINUED UNTIL
THE YEAR 2004, IT WILL BE PLACED IN

THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!

1 Malaysia

1 Malaysia
 
An Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all of them died before they arrived.
Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Chinese, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present, asked him what happened.
"Well," said the Chinese, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Indian and the Malay andI were standing at the gates of heaven. An Angel approached us and said that we were too young to die, and that for a donation of RM 500, we could return to earth. So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the RM 500 and the next thing I knew was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors. "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them" replied the Chinese, "the Indian was bargaining over the price, and the Malay was waiting for the government to pay for him."